Anxiety and being a first time mom
Well, since the name of my Blog is anxiousmom83 I figured it would be a cool and appropriate to make my first “official” post about my anxiety and how I deal with it ( Or I try to anyways…) now that I am a mother.
So let me start by telling you I started suffering from anxiety when I was a teenager ( Yeah a long time ago, I am now 34 years old) when I visited a new dentist ( back home, Argentina) while in high school and he didn’t even know how to apply anesthesia, I ended up with a big bump on my cheek, it hurt like hell, I got traumatized and that is how everything begun..
Needless to say that I stopped seeing that dentist but I was still traumatized with that experience and I was until I got pregnant last year, I knew how bad stress and anxiety were specially when pregnant so I decided to do what I wish I had done earlier: RELAX!!! 🙂
When I was living in CT they used to prescribed me some anti anxiety meds which I would take the night before my appointment and then another one 1 hour before the appointment, that would relax me and I could get through the appointment a bit better.
When it comes to giving pills ( at least at the dentist) rules and regulations here in Florida are different so I couldn’t get them to give me any medicine which means I had to face my fear, ” man up” and take a deep breath…lol
So to fast forward a bit, the couple dentist appointments I had while pregnant went GREAT and I had another one last week and it was awesome, I didn’t even need music ( it used to be that I wouldn’t let the dentist start doing his/ her work unless I had some music on my ears… ha ha)
My story sounds like a ” happy ending” one up to here right?
Well the thing is, now that I am a mom, all that anxiety that I had when it was time to go to the dentist, now it has transferred to anything that has to do with my son.. ( Specially when it comes to medical issues, concerns)
I know worrying when you are a mom is common, specially when you are a first time mom like myself but when you add anxiety to that the result is not the best.
To make things worst, Lucas was a preemie ( 5 weeks early, boy that was a surprise!!! I didn’t have my hospital bag nor his diaper bag ready when I got admitted at the Hospital) and he struggled pretty much since the moment he was taken out of his ” cozy,warm apartment” ( My womb)..
He had trouble breathing ( needed oxygen right away, the fact that he was so early and I had gestational diabetes I am sure it didn’t help), he spent a bit over 2 weeks at the NICU ( you can imagine my stress then, that got in the way with breastfeeding, I felt guilty for a while but then I realized I TRIED but stress is the worst when it comes to breastfeeding)
Then he finally came home but since he was a preemie ( and I m sure some preemies have no issues once they are home) he still had small issues, some bigger than others ( Some I will talk about later on another post when I feel more up for it), most of them can be corrected, others we will have to watch them over time and make sure they don’t get worst.
Last week while visiting one of his Doctors we had a pretty big concern, I cried for days, imagining what could go wrong, what would I do if something bad happens to him, as usual ( getting ready for the worst , yes that is my awful anxiety kicking in!) when we don’t have a diagnosis yet…)
It is gonna be another 3 weeks or so until we can do the tests we have to do and then another 3 – 4 weeks until we get the results ( I am sure you are curious to know what those tests are but I will let you know when the time is right)
I know you are all new on this Blog, but in case you care, Lucas’s concern is NOT about something terminal ( just so you know, if you are friends or family reading this, relax, it is not that! thanks goodness!) but it is not a flu or a fever either BUT only the test results will reveal the truth.
This brings me to explain to you how now ( 7/14/2017) I am not letting my anxiety drive me crazy and keep imagining bad things.
After crying for days, looking for all kinds of information about the concern that we have with him and thanks to the support from family and friends I’ve come to realize that the best thing I can do right now is to RELAX and enjoy my baby, he is growing beautifully, smiling, laughing and yes, he does have his bad days but he is adorable!, my pride and joy and I don’t want my anxiety to get in the way and ruin that.
Also, when you consider that it is gonna take about 2 months to know exactly what is going on, that is when you say ” OK, we have about 8 weeks to go, I better take it easy and try to forget about it ( when my mind allows me to)
So I am trying to keep my mind busy ( Filming You Tube videos, making posts here), yes, I ‘ve been meaning to start a “mommy Blog” for a long time now and this will be a way for me to get distracted, enjoy my love for writing, share recipes ( Push myself to cook more often since my “culinary” skills are not the best but I wanna get better at it), review products, help other moms out there, make friends with them and all that.
Like I think I mentioned on my first post, this will be a ” mommy Blog” but I will be posting about other things as well, not just parenting and baby products reviews alone.
My life as of right now is more focused on parenting, being a mom to a 4 months old of course, BUT that doesn’t mean I don’t like talking about beauty sometimes, create a makeup tutorial or tell you guys about a product I am loving, giving nutrition tips, etc.
Before I forget, feel free to check out ( and subscribe if you are interested),I post new videos there ( several) every week) to my Youtube channel at: http://youtube.com/user/lesliebairesgirl
Things have changed a lot and I don’t have the time for myself that I used to have before having a baby, I am adapting pretty well to it ( It was a bit overwhelming at first) but at the same time, I don’t want to let myself go completely ( It is easier said than done, I know!) so that is why I want this Blog and my life in general to include ” Me time” topics as well 🙂
Thank you so much for reading my post, if you suffer from anxiety I would love to hear from you and if you don’t kudos to you! and I would still love to get some feedback on my Blog, what you guys would like to see, what things you want me to talk about, a product to review, some Paleo recipes maybe?
Let me know and I will be glad to make those posts for you all!
Have an amazing weekend and I will see you soon on my next post!!